“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Walden, Henry D. Thoreau.
I remember the excitement/ sadness of my youth for the first days of school/ last days of summer. The sleepless nights of trying to peer into the future just a little bit. Having mom help make the last minute preparations of shopping for supplies and new clothes. Hoping not to forget anything. Making sure all of the items were secure in the appropriate pouches and hidden pockets in the backpack. Thinking about the new friends I would meet in this new chapter of my life.
Shit’s getting real!
Where before things were still surreal and abstract, now they are tangible and coming up super fast. I received my travel itinerary to Georgia. I leave from Charlotte this coming Monday, August 13th. Connect in NYC, where I will meet other members of the TLG team. Then to Istanbul where we will pick up another batch of members, then on to Tbilisi, Georgia. When I received the official itinerary last week, that’s when everything became definite for me. We’ve had a pre-departure conference call and some of us have even posted pics (for recognition at the airports). Is it weird that I already like them sooo much?
I feel like I am out of time to see everyone I still want to see. And that is sobering and sad. My schedule for visiting hours is tight. There are major events occurring on the next several days that MUST be done. The most daunting is packing. Ugh. I’m actually kind of excited about that because I enjoy organizing stuff. But I KNOW there will be heartbreak and gut checks trying to get everything into a 50 pound bag. My shoes alone weight more than fifty pounds! I’ll keep you guys posted on how that goes.
Up to this point, I’ve been seemingly stoic about everything. I think because the largess of the move is a little hard to wrap my mind around. I don’t doubt for a second my decision in itself. My concentration on the goal is still laser focused. It’s the ramifications, ripple effects, and the life alterations that are hard to grasp. But as said before, things are crystalizing and coming into focus for me. I have the greatest support system and group of friends in the entire world. The love they extend to me is priceless and will never be taken for granted. They ‘get’ me and surprisingly still like me.
The emotion that still far outstrips all others is excitement. But a tinge of fear seeped in the other day. But the comforting thing for me was my response was to embrace and welcome it instead of “Oh shit, what am I doing!?!”
My days are numbered. Next time I post I hope to be packed up and sitting in an airport.
… hope I remember to pack my favorite pen.
“Call my friends to share some wine
To share some laughs, and last goodbyes
My photographs of these years
Will make me laugh through the tears”